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"Don't Worry Andy, We Turned Out Alright"

Our guest writer this week is Andy Robles. Andy wrote a letter to himself in the past - guiding him into the future and letting him know that everything will work out quite well, despite some moments that may not have been his proudest.

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March 30, 2009

 

Dear Andy,

They say it’s better to leave the past in the past (who exactly “they” are I don’t know), but I’ve always had a problem doing that.  It’s just not in me to not reflect back on what was, and try to make sure that the “sins of the past” don’t come back and bite me in the ass. 

You really did try to make a mess of things, didn’t you?  What were you thinking?  What was on your mind?  You don’t need to answer, but you really made some foolish and selfish decisions; we’re still paying for some of them. 

I have to tell you though, I’m not angry at you.  A little disappointed maybe, but not angry.  I know why you did the things you did.  You were young, angry, immature, and very selfish; not all the time, we know you had a good heart, but you were in a bad place mentally and emotionally.   I’m not saying those are excuses, but they are reasons. 

You had a lot of growing to do, and a lot of issues to get through.  I know it wasn’t always easy, and more often than not you gave up trying, but somehow you got through it.  You put on such a tough exterior, but you were really pretty weak. 

I don’t want to sound like I’m beating you up.  My real purpose for writing you is to let you know that I’m doing well.  Surprised?  So am I.

You married Katie (yes she stayed with you even after all the crap you put her through), you have a home on Long Island (there was no way you were moving her to the Bronx), and you’ve got two beautiful children, a boy and a girl; just like you always wanted.  Their names are Nicholas and Talia.  Nicky is six and Talia is two.

You’ve got a pretty good job.  It helps pay the bills.  It’s probably not where you thought you would end up, but it’s a pretty good place, and you’re well respected (if only you were paid more).

Alex and Mike have grown up to be fine young men.  They’re great uncles to the kids.  I found out you’re actually half-brothers.  It’s a long story, and we’ll get into it another time. 

Dad died.  It was really hard on you, but he got to meet and be with Nicky before he passed.  He loved that kid.  The family really relied on you, and left it up to you to pull the plug.  You did.  It was the right thing to do.  He wouldn’t have wanted to keep living in that condition.  You remember him how he was; the condition he was in was not how he wanted to live.  Remember the only time he ever hit you?  Man, you never crossed him again.  It’s funny how you’d even want one more moment like that if it meant he was still with you.

Anyway….

I don’t know how much more I want to tell you right now.  I guess the main thing is that you grew up.  You’re in a better place now, and you’re surrounded by people that love you and care about you.

Let go.  I did.

Love,

Andy

 

If you would like to comment on this letter, Andy can be reached at ajrobles51@aol.com.

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